Sunday, August 21, 2005

"Oh, and by the way, I think that’s got caffeine in it."

This will likely be an endless and rambling post since Bryan ‘accidentally’ forgot to order my evening latte decaffeinated. He claims my drink was too complicated, and he forgot.

What, like it isn’t NORMAL to get an iced nonfat mint chocolate decaf latte?

Fortunately for me, it’s Complete Bond month on AMC, so I have Roger Moore to keep me company. Not that he’s my favorite James Bond. No, I would have to be cliché here and claim Sean Connery to be my favorite. There’s just something so Cary Grant about Connery as Bond. Last night I watched Thunderball and it was fabulous – every scene started with Sean seducing a blond nurse, and ended with him leaving her to go kill someone. I can’t figure out why Bryan isn’t into my Bond obsession.

Tonight I tried on a pair of pants at Old Navy, and it was a little disappointing. Why do clothing makers automatically assume that fat people are tall? Is there anywhere I can buy a pair of plus petite jeans?

So I have to interject here and testify that I just saw Roger Moore kissing a woman’s abdomen in order to investigate something that was in her belly button. Sean Connery kissing a woman’s belly button… SEXY. Roger Moore kissing a woman’s belly button… NOT SEXY! In fact, he reminds me too much of my father, and that’s just… wrong.

So as I was saying, I’m 5’2” and have an extra twenty pounds I attribute to each of my two children, a gift which I thank them for on a daily basis. Since I have yet to find a Plus Petite section at any clothing store, I usually end up buying Capri length pants because they hit me at the ankles.

[I just saw quite a lengthy commercial for an innovative kitty litter box called "Shake ‘n’ Fresh." That’s late-night t.v. at its finest.]

Here’s a little known fact the internet told me: did you know that Ian Fleming, the creator of the James Bond legacy, was also the author of the book, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which later became a movie starring Dick Van Dyke?

Well I just yawned and my eyelids are feeling heavy, so I will not prolong your agony any longer. There is really no point to this post, and you will never get back the five minutes you just wasted reading it.

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